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3/12/12

I Don’t Know Where He Gets It From

After work last Thursday, I came home to a pint-sized welcome committee.  Little Guy had been waiting for me and had a lot to tell me about his day at school.  He had studied the sounds that the letters “S” and “H” make when put together.  He had examples: Ship, Shamrock, and Shirt.  He and his friends had eaten apples for a snack and his friend Reggie* had been taken to the hospital via ambulance.

“WHAT?” I ask in shock.  “What happened?”

“He jumped on a Lego and cut his foot real bad," he frowns sadly.

“Oh no,” I respond, giving my sweetie a big hug.

“The ambulance took him to the hospital to make him better,” he says in a somber tone.

I'm worried about this little boy, but also very glad it wasn't my child who was hurt, and then suddenly it dawns on me that this may be just a big story.  I do have a creative child after all, and maybe he’s making this up.  I yell into the other room where I can hear Hubby playing with Baby Boy, “Did the teacher say anything about an ambulance coming today?”

“Nope,” is his yelled response.  Hmmm.  I am looking at my little boy, and he is all innocence and rosy cheeks and sincerity as he gives me more details.  I think the teacher might have mentioned something like this, but then her day might have been so crazy that she forgot.

“Are you using your imagination?” I ask, squatting down at his level and looking him in the eye.

“No,” he says simply.

“Why didn’t your teacher take him to the hospital herself?”

“Because she couldn’t leave us all alone!” he’s shocked that I’d even suggest it.  “We’re too little!”

This is actually quite reasonable.  Little Guy goes to an in-home daycare/pre-school, and he’s right.  The teacher wouldn’t be able to leave the other kids alone.  Besides, I don’t know how one woman could take seven little boys to the emergency room without going stark raving mad.  I’d call for an ambulance too.  I begin to wonder if maybe he’s telling the truth after all.  The pieces add up – at least mostly.  I decide to ask him some more questions and see if I can catch him in a fib.

“How many emergency people came in the ambulance?”

“Two.”  There is no hesitation.  He doesn’t even blink.

“Were they men or women?” I ask.

“Both,” is his quick reply.  “There was one man and one woman.  They took Reggie in the back of their ambulance to make him better.”

“Did Roddie* go too?”  Roddie is Reggie’s little brother and usually the two would come and go together.

Little Guy looks at me strangely and shakes his head.  “Of course not,” he says.  “Roddie didn’t get hurt.  Only Reggie did.”

I ponder his answers.  It all seems logical to me.  If Reggie truly had been hurt badly enough to go to the hospital, this is probably how it would have went.  Is my three year old clever enough to make this up?  I am honestly not sure.

“Was Reggie’s foot bleeding a lot?”

“Oh yes it was!” he says, scrunching up his little nose in distaste.  “Teacher said he wasn’t being very careful, but that we’d better be careful so we don’t get our feet cut up like Reggie did.”

This sounds like something a teacher would warn kids about.  I’m almost convinced.

“Did Reggie come back to school at all?” 

“Nope.”  His Dad came to pick up Roddie, but Reggie was still at the hospital.” 

Not once during this discussion has he changed his story or waffled on any details.  He relays it all to me as if he’s telling me about any other part of his day, and I realize he is telling the truth.  I am so proud of him.  What a wonderful little boy.  He witnessed something that some children might find traumatic (seeing a friend carted away in an ambulance), and he’s handling it wonderfully. 

I drop the subject as there are still fifty other things he needs to tell me about his day.  We continue on with a wonderful evening and I forget about the whole thing.

Friday morning comes and as I pull into the driveway at Little Guy’s school, a small boy goes running past our car toward the door.  I recognize the small running boy, “Hey look, It’s Reggie.”  I say.  There is no response from the back seat, and then it hits me.  This boy was just yesterday being taken to the hospital because his foot was hurt very badly, but here he is this morning running as if nothing happened. 

Quite the recovery, I think to myself.

I’m helping him out of his car seat when I say, “I thought you said Reggie hurt his foot?”

He grins at me then – all teeth and eye sparkles and personality.  “Maybe I used my imagination a little bit,” he says holding up two fingers as if measuring an inch in the air. 

I’d been had!  He was so cute though, that I decided I'd wait till after school to have a little talk about telling stories vs. telling stories and pretending they are true.  I gave my clever little fella a big hug and we said goodbye before I continued on to work. 

Later, I called my parents to tell them all about what had happened, and strangely they said it reminded them of someone they once knew.  For the life of me, I can’t remember who they said it was that this story reminded them of… but in my defense – while we were talking on the phone, I stepped on a Lego and cut my foot.  By the time the ambulance had arrived, that whole phone conversation had completely slipped my mind….

*Not his real name

3/3/12

Happy Birthday to ME

Yep, today is my birthday, and I must say it has been a wonderful one indeed! Over the last few days I've been receiving wonderful cards and letters in the mail.  Today I had quite a lot of birthday greetings on my Facebook wall.  I've been showered with gifts from my Husband, boys, parents, in-laws, friends etc.

I'm so very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life.

Today I'm 38, and proud of every one of those years.  For as long as I can remember, my birthday has been a big deal to me.  It still is, and I can't imagine that will ever change.  Today my parents and little brother came to visit us.  We had a wonderful day filled with hugs and laughter and stories and playtime with little boys.  Hubby fixed us a lovely lunch and baked me the cake I'd requested (more a cobbler than a traditional cake...absolutely yummy!).  Everything was perfect and I just couldn't be happier!

Thanks to every one who has made my special day even more special!  :)

Me (and my little friends)30 years ago today.... 
I've posted this picture on birthdays past, but have
to do so again.  This was probably my fondest childhood memory. 
BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER!!!  :)


3/2/12

There Was a Little Girl...


Words matter.

We live in a world that is fueled by clever one-line Facebook status updates and 140 character tweets.  We send multiple text messages and emails every day.  We use words all the time, but it seems to me that we are sometimes forgetful of the impact that choosing those words can have on those around us. 

Maybe this isn’t an issue for you at all, but it’s something I struggle with on occasion.

I’d say that 99% of the time I am a nice person, and I generally try to be kind to everyone.  I am human though, and sometimes I fail (okay, more than sometimes).  I hurt someone recently with my words.  It wasn’t on purpose, but it happened.  It was one of those knee jerk moments when a ‘clever’ comment came flying into my head one millisecond before it went flying past my lips.  I immediately regretted this thing I said, and the pain it caused; but it was too late.  Once something like that is out there, it’s impossible to pull it back.

The whole scenario reminded of the following scene in the (fantastic) movie, “You’ve Got Mail”:

Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and moving on, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then, then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?
[stops and thinks] Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.
Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

Sadly, I can sometimes relate to the Joe Fox character in this scene.  I too, have had moments when I said things that displayed the worst possible version of myself.  Among my faults (and believe me, there are many), this is the one I consider most regrettable.  I have no excuse.  I wasn’t raised to be mean.  In fact, when I was a child my parents always taught me to be kind and respectful of others.  They encouraged my brother and I to follow the Golden Rule.  They lived by example, and to this day I am hard pressed to recall a single instance in which one of them ever said an unkind word to the other or to anyone else.  (I know that will sound hard to believe – but I’m not exaggerating.)

However, in spite of a very positive and loving upbringing; I found at a fairly young age that I had a talent for doling out well timed zingers.  Now to be fair, I also feel that I have a talent for kindness (which I’ve inherited from my sweet Mama, and which over the last decade I’ve tried to embrace more fully).  Sometimes though, one of those not so nice comments slips through a crack in the niceness.  In moments like that I feel like one of those Twilight Zone characters who seems perfectly human and nice and normal…. until viewers catch just a glimpse of the alien lurking within.

So the other day, when I hurt the feelings of this person who I truly consider to be a friend, I made a decision.  I apologized of course, but I also decided once and for all it was time to be rid of my inner alien.

This isn’t to say that I sit around all day insulting those around me.  I don’t.  In fact, I’d say that over the years I’ve most certainly mellowed in this department.  But every now and then, one of these zingers slips passed, and I am reminded of just how important words are.  The comments I sometimes made (the come-backs the jabs-the zingers-whatever you want to call them) almost always got a laugh, and I’ll admit I sometimes found a certain thrill in that.  The trouble with the clever come-back however, is that though there may be a moment of satisfaction, it is all too often followed by crushing regret.

This brings me to today, and my decision to make a change.  Not only do I want to slice these “Ms. Nasty” comments from my dialogue, but I also want to ensure that I’m setting a good example for my boys, and being a person my loved ones can be proud to call wife, daughter or friend.  My goal is to think before I speak.  This may sound simple to you, but I’m afraid it may prove quite the battle for me.  No matter.  It will be worth every effort made. 

So, assuming I do take a moment to think before I say something questionable, what exactly will I be ‘thinking’ about?  The new criteria I’m setting for myself is pretty straight forward.  From now on, when one of those ‘clever’ comments pops into my head, I’m going to attempt to use the following internal filters before opening my big mouth (or typing that status update or tweeting or whatever):

  1. Does this comment add value to the conversation?
  2. Will this comment encourage?
  3. Is this comment something I would say if husband/children/parents etc could hear?
If the answer to any of the above questions is “No”, then even if it is terribly ‘clever’, it’s not worth saying.  I know that this will take some practice on my part, but it’s something I feel I need to address head on. 

Truthfully, I should have done it years ago.

2/27/12

Winter Fun

Little Guy has been a good sport all Winter long.  We've not had very many opportunities to play in the snow (though it is one of his favorite pasttimes).  It seemed that either we had no snow, or it was too bitter cold when snow was available.  On Saturday, we had a perfect snow-play day.  The temp was cold, but not awful and there was enough snow left to make a three year old happy. We bundled up and had a wonderful time enjoying some Winter play.




The bad news?  Last night he woke up with a sneezy, snotty head cold (the first of the season).  Oh well.  I'm pretty sure he'd say it was worth it. 

2/22/12

Cardboard Play House

Over a year ago, we acquired a large cardboard box that had previously held a dishwasher.  We had cut a window in it and Little Guy had a lot of fun playing inside it for a while.  After a few weeks, his interest waned and the box went into our basement storage.  Last week he said he wished he had a house of his own.  I brought up the box and he was very excited about it.

The 1800 matches our own house number, and
the red mailbox is very similar to ours as well.

Although the plain box had been fun, I had a feeling we could do better.  So, I cut out a second window.  Then I covered most of the dishwasher wording with brown construction paper (except the "roof" which I covered with black paper). 

As soon as Little Guy saw the improvements he said that we needed a chimney - haha!  So, we took a small-ish box, and covered it with pink paper.  I drew on "bricks" and LG and I glued on a big stack of cotton balls for smoke.

By now, I was really having fun (maybe more than Little Guy was even).  I added a big tree (complete with perching blue bird), shutters, a fire hydrant and a mail box that looks quite similar to the one on our actual house.  We also added flowers all the way around.

Little Guy did complain a little bit that the shutters don't actually work, so there may be one more project in our future!  :)
Little Guy loves getting mail, and having us 'visit' him at his house.  He now has a pretend door bell and has wedged in some of his play furniture.  I helped him make a 'home sweet home' sign and we hung it (as well as another picture he'd drawn) inside.   

This has been a very fun project, and since we had all the supplies on hand - a totally free one as well! 

The cardboard play house is great, and I think we're done with 'improvements'...for now anyway.

2/16/12

Valentines Day Party

Little Guy's home-made Valentine cards.
This week has been a whirlwind of Valentine Day preparations.  I had volunteered to help with the party Little Guy’s pre-school was having, and had been tasked with making ‘boxes’ the children could decorate.  I also decided this year to make Little Guy’s valentines for his friends (to save money, but also for a little variety).  We used the store-bought ones left over from last year for Baby Boy’s little daycare friends.

What spare time I had over the weekend was spent making the little cards, getting the boxes ready and planning a little something for my own Valentine as well.

Little Guy’s cards were pretty straight forward.  I scoured the internet and came away with a lot of wonderful ideas.  In the end, Little Guy decided he wanted dinosaur cards.  I found some cute illustrations of cartoon-ish dinosaurs on-line and used them as inspiration for some I drew on plain white paper.  I then added a corny little line, “You are DINO-mite, Valentine!” and “Valentine, you are Tricera-TOPS!” etc to each.  I cut around the drawing, glued it to pink or red construction paper and then cut that paper to make a frame around the dinosaur.  Little Guy then colored each one, and we attached them to little plastic dinosaurs which we’d purchased at Wal Mart for $1 each.  The end result was pretty adorable and we had a lot of fun putting them together.

For the ‘boxes’, I decided to do something a little different.  We’ve saved a lot of formula canisters over the last few years (with no particular plan in mind), and finally put them to use.  I removed the label from each, cleaned them carefully, covered the edge with duct tape (to avoid any sharp bits), covered the outside with white art paper, trimmed in ribbon, and made holes in each side where a pipe-cleaner handle could go.  These were a little time consuming, but the end result was one I was happy with – and completely free, as I had all supplies on hand.

Old formula cans from our storage room.

Monday was the pre-school party, and we had so much fun!  I was able to be a ‘guest reader’ and shared two little Valentine themed books with the children.  Then we had a snack (heart shaped fruit pizza and juice).  I watched as the teacher taught all the little ones about the letter “R” during lesson time, and then watched as they sang songs and played some games.  I adored watching Little Guy as he interacted with his friends.  He was so well behaved and very involved in everything.  He loves learning and is soaking it all up like a little sponge.

Soon it was time for arts and crafts.  This was when I was able to bring out the Valentine buckets and the children were encouraged to decorate them.  We had crayons and stickers as well as various pictures and glue.  I had drawn about thirty little Valentine robots and those were a big hit for gluing to the sides.  They were also able to color and draw and write their names.  In the end, each child had a pretty cute Valentine bucket to take home – each decorated uniquely and adorably. 

This was the sample that I made for LG's Teacher.

And Little Guy's finished bucket (you can see one of the robot drawings here as well)
When it was time for me to leave after lunch, I ended up taking Little Guy home too.  I had the whole day off after all, and the roads were icky so this saved me a trip back to pick him up.  Also, he was clearly enjoying having me there, and was quite upset at the prospect of seeing me go.  We ended up having a lovely Mommy/Son afternoon at home, decorating our house with pink paper hearts and making a special Valentine dinner for Hubby.

It was a fabulous day, and the end result was worth every minute of time spent to get there.  Spending some quality time with my Little Guy always warms my heart, and this particular day with him was perfectly priceless!

2/15/12

Revisiting Mr. Darcy

I’ve been going through a bit of a Jane Austen phase lately (Pride and Prejudice, in particular).  It started rather innocently enough.  I’d picked up a copy of Me and Mr. Darcy at our local discount book store, and it was a quick read.  This book is not a life changer, but it was fun and it kept me entertained while on a road trip with the family.  There is a whole world of Austen-lite fiction available.  There are prequels and sequels and based-upons.  There are stacks of re-workings, especially of Pride and Prejudice.  I’ve read a few good ones, and a few bad ones.  This particular book was okay, but I won’t tell you to run out and buy it.  The only reason I’m even mentioning that book is that the heroine in this novel kept talking about these two….

Mr. Darcy (as played by Colin Firth in the P&P BBC mini series):

and Mr. Darcy (as played by Matthew MacFayden in the Kiera Knightly P&P version):

The frequent references to these two versions of Pride and Prejudice inspired me to re-watch the DVD of the 2005 movie (oh how I love the sheer beauty of that film - it takes my breath away), and then I ordered the mini series from NetFlix and watched it too.  (I suggested Hubby might watch that one with me, but he mumbled something about pulling his eyes out with pliers, so I didn’t pester him about it).  I enjoyed watching both versions over the last week, and now think I’ll have to re-read the book as well. 

I first read Pride and Prejudice in 1987.  I was thirteen, and my Aunt Mary gave me a copy.  Even at that age, I saw the beauty in the romance between Lizzie and Darcy.  It’s one of those stories that grips you and won’t let go.  Here I am twenty-four years after that first reading, and I still adore Lizzie and her Darcy to this day.

The story is such a classic, and  I imagine they’ll be re-making and re-tooling and writing even more sequels for generations to come.   This is good news for me (and probably for you too).  It means that if/when we have a Jane Austen phase, there will always be something (a movie, a book, etc) to help us through it.  

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